The following is a response to a school group who emailed me as a follow up to a presentation I made, asking such amazing questions, I just had to post them here! 😊

Enjoy!

Dear Students of City Park School

Thank you so much for having me in to talk about self-care, and for your care and attention to the topic this November! Thank you also for your follow-up email. I enjoyed being with your class last week. You were curious, insightful, and genuinely open to the big ideas we explored. I’m glad you took the time to consolidate your notes and gather questions. This kind of reflective practice is exactly what helps young people deepen their learning and begin connecting to self.

Here are my responses to your questions – which are very advanced and thoughtful by the way!

1. How does building connections with your students help advance their learning?
Connection is key, and a foundation for learning. Relationships can heal people and support their growth. When students feel seen, safe, respected, and valued, their brains become more receptive to learning. The science behind this is fascinating. Safety and relationships regulate the nervous system, and a regulated brain can think, imagine, problem-solve, and take healthy risks. When I taught full-time, I always focused on: “We teach people, not subjects.” Hence, the Human Curriculum – connection creates the conditions for curiosity, engagement, and growth. 😊

2. Do you think self-care is something everyone can access equally, or does it depend on resources and privilege?
Self-care is not always equally accessible; however, it depends on how you see it. Some forms of self-care – time, space, support, stability, resources – are directly shaped by privilege and the systems around us. We can teach coping and grounding skills, but we must also pay attention to the realities students live in. I didn’t get to the ‘systems’ part of my ‘self to systems’ presentation – but true self-care has to include community care and systemic care, not just individual strategies.

Relationally, anyone can access self-care by developing a deep relationship with themselves and using that to support others when they can. In a system, we will always have people in need and people who can give – so my motto is self-care to care-give! Sometimes I need help and sometimes I am the one who can give it. That type of system supports everyone. 😊

3. Were you ever taught self-care when you were in school?
No, not at all. I was taught to work hard, be quiet, get good marks, and manage everything on my own. This drove me to dislike school. My well-being wasn’t really part of the conversation. Most adults today learned self-care because something hard forced us to. In my life, I’ve faced many hard things: grief, loss, trauma, distress, and overwhelm….Most people face difficulties, it’s part of our common humanity, which is why self-care and self-compassion are so important. We have to learn to take care of ourselves. This is why I’m passionate about giving young people the tools they need early so they don’t have to unlearn/learn everything the hard way.

4. How do you personally include self-care in your daily routine?
This changes depending on the season of my life, but a few non-negotiables that help me stay grounded are: taking at least three deep breaths a few times a day; staying connected to friends and family; scheduling down-time; watching my social media use and questioning the things I see (i.e., is that real? Why am I comparing myself to this? And, What can I do to help this cause, if I can?); movement is also important, I try to walk even if it’s just a little bit every day. I also practice ‘somatic’ aware self-care (noticing what my body is telling me), keep my routines simple, and reconnecting with my meaning and purpose when I am overwhelmed. For me, self-care is less about the activity and more about alignment with my values and staying aware of what I need.

5. If you were still teaching adolescents, what would you want to see in a school, and how can our self-care practice be embodied in school?

I have a website with some of this information: https://www.therapeuticteaching.com/

But, overall, I would employ a school culture that treats well-being as foundational, not extra. It was always part of my classroom routine. We checked in with each other every day, journaled, did meditation or yoga practice, and I had predictable routines, relational teaching practices (we call it care pedagogy), calm spaces in the classroom to lie, read, and relax. Flexibility was also important. I was flexible with my students; I modelled it and expected them to be flexible with me and each other. Self-care is knowing we are all learning and growing. I also tried to model what regulation and repair looked like.

Self-care in schools can show up as:

• Teachers who notice when students are dysregulated
• Lessons that include reflection, regulation, and coping skills
• Classroom norms built on care, fairness, boundaries, values, and beliefs (restitution)
• Spaces where students can take a breath before reacting
• Spaces where we honour adversity, difficulty, and holding space for hard things – aka we allow emotions to show up (it’s ok to be mad, sad, scared).
• Teachers who teach and model these skills 😊

A school (teachers, students, etc.) doesn’t need to be perfect, it just has to be intentional, own the mistakes, and move forward stronger, together.

6. What inspired you to dive deeper into these topics? How did you first become interested in this field?
I noticed my students were struggling with things I couldn’t help them with, things beyond the subjects I taught. Their lives at home, some had needs I didn’t know how to support, etc. So, I just started doing what I could to make my classroom a safe and comfortable place. I took my students on camping and canoe trips, and I wrote grants to get fresh fruit, yogurt, snacks, a smoothie maker, etc., in the classroom. I offered students a place to sleep for a few minutes if they showed up tired (a few minutes – lol – not the whole day 😉).

Essentially, I came into this work after seeing how many students and even other teachers were struggling, not because they weren’t capable, but because our systems weren’t designed with human needs at the root. And even if they were, there was no curriculum for this … How could I learn a human curriculum, who would teach it? What do we need to know about helping ourselves and others in organizations, schools, and institutions…These were key questions I had. My background in education, along with some trauma-informed and restitution-based training, eventually converged with a desire to learn more about mental health, counselling, well-being and that all eventually became “The Human Curriculum”, which focuses on self-awareness, regulation, relationships, and meaning as foundations for thriving.

7. How can we keep learning self-care?
Aware-Care-Cope – Cope-Manage-Grow-heal repeat! 😊

Self-care is a lifelong practice (an awareness at a minimum). You keep learning it by practicing the following:

• Spend time with you!
• Ask: What do I need right now?
• Ask: What helps me feel calm, safe, or supported?
• Know: What drains me?
• Know: What routines help me stay balanced?
• Know: What do I value, and do I lead with that in my daily practices?
• Be open: GROW!

You also learn through community, talking about feelings, supporting one another, and naming what’s hard. Self-care grows through repetition and reflection. 😊

8. What motivates you to persevere through your anxiety?
I am in charge, anxiety isn’t – but that took time and practice. It was worth it!

Meaning and purpose also play a huge role. I know the work I do matters. I also know that anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with me; it just means my nervous system is trying to protect me. I thank my anxiety for showing up, get curious about why it’s there, and nurture it, like it’s my inner child. When I can honour that without letting it run my life, I find my way forward. Connection helps. Being surrounded by supportive people and meaningful work gives me the strength I need to persevere. AND: ‘I am not my anxiety, it is not me’ it is merely a part of me.

The goal is never to get rid of it. Acknowledge it and move on, and if I can’t, it’s a signal for me to do more work or seek help. 😊

Thanks, City Park School!

Judy